No matter what you are facing today, you are not alone, weather it is facing the reality of the blueprints of your life being not what you thought they would be and they are now left riped into pieces, or you just had a bad day, God is always with you!
The LORD your God is with you. He is a hero who saves you. He happily rejoices over you, renews you with his love, and celebrates over you with shouts of joy. —Zephaniah 3:17
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Keep Breathing
So I know that it has been forever since I last updated...life has been crazy but full of many blessings at the same time!!
I am waiting...I hate waiting, my mind thinks too much when I wait.
I am waiting for my second surgery for my foot... there are times when I am good, and know that it is all happening in God's perfect plan and timing and other times like today when I am freaking out and wanting to run for the hills because I am scared and not ready for all that is to follow after surgery. I do not like the unknown and this is a big scary unknown. Even when I do freak out I still know that God is leading me down this road, but it's still hard.
What is even harder is everything else...life never stops especially it seems for me that it is one thing after another or its lots of things all together, some are little and some are big, and some are even bigger than I am.
Just like in Finding Nemo when Dory is telling Nemo to just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming...I tell myself to just keep breathing. I found this song today and it met me right where I am and spoke to my heart, I hope it does the same to you wherever you are in life to just keep breathing!
I am waiting...I hate waiting, my mind thinks too much when I wait.
I am waiting for my second surgery for my foot... there are times when I am good, and know that it is all happening in God's perfect plan and timing and other times like today when I am freaking out and wanting to run for the hills because I am scared and not ready for all that is to follow after surgery. I do not like the unknown and this is a big scary unknown. Even when I do freak out I still know that God is leading me down this road, but it's still hard.
What is even harder is everything else...life never stops especially it seems for me that it is one thing after another or its lots of things all together, some are little and some are big, and some are even bigger than I am.
Just like in Finding Nemo when Dory is telling Nemo to just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming...I tell myself to just keep breathing. I found this song today and it met me right where I am and spoke to my heart, I hope it does the same to you wherever you are in life to just keep breathing!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
My Thoughts for Today
Organizing my thoughts lately has been a challenge; I have been so busy and so exhausted that by the end of the day I do not know what my thoughts are anymore. God has been so faithful, even when I crumbled under the hurt and pain that I couldn’t deny nor hold back any longer. It’s still a struggle knowing the healing isn’t instant, that one day I will wake up and it will all be okay. Yes, I am another statistic according the world’s standards but I don’t want this to define me, I don’t want it to become my identity.
God has gently whispered His promises in my ear along the way…there was one night where I was done…I couldn’t take another step, didn’t want to face another day and He reminded that in the midst of all of THIS I had many blessings in my life, blessing that He placed there, and it is those blessings that help me look to another day.
Two things He has been showing is forgiveness and contentment…
Being content is… I guess easier than forgiveness, I read in my devotional a couple of weeks ago “Contentment is learned and cultivated. It is an attitude of the heart. It has nothing to do with material possessions or life’s circumstances. It has everything to do with being in the center of God’s will and knowing it” No matter how it has been and no matter how badly I want to flee (and some you do know how much I want to flee) I know I am where I am supposed to be.
Forgiveness: This is where my struggle is, a battle I face every day in my heart… the Lord has gently been telling me that forgiveness is not for the other person but for me. The struggle is that I view forgiveness as telling the person who has done wrong that what they did was okay and I can’t do that because what he did was not okay… it hurt to the very center of my being and still continues to do so, the fact that I am paying for the consequences of his actions, I had no say in any of it and I am the one hurting!!! I understand having to face the consequences of my own actions but this… it was out of my hands.
Pray for me as I seek God for the answers…as I let go of the pain and anger, that I let my guard down… I don’t know what is worse having a wall up and just being hurt… or allowing God to do His work which means the wall comes down and I open myself up to the possibility of being hurt and disappointed again… I know I don’t want the wall up…I am just tired of the pain.
God has gently whispered His promises in my ear along the way…there was one night where I was done…I couldn’t take another step, didn’t want to face another day and He reminded that in the midst of all of THIS I had many blessings in my life, blessing that He placed there, and it is those blessings that help me look to another day.
Two things He has been showing is forgiveness and contentment…
Being content is… I guess easier than forgiveness, I read in my devotional a couple of weeks ago “Contentment is learned and cultivated. It is an attitude of the heart. It has nothing to do with material possessions or life’s circumstances. It has everything to do with being in the center of God’s will and knowing it” No matter how it has been and no matter how badly I want to flee (and some you do know how much I want to flee) I know I am where I am supposed to be.
Forgiveness: This is where my struggle is, a battle I face every day in my heart… the Lord has gently been telling me that forgiveness is not for the other person but for me. The struggle is that I view forgiveness as telling the person who has done wrong that what they did was okay and I can’t do that because what he did was not okay… it hurt to the very center of my being and still continues to do so, the fact that I am paying for the consequences of his actions, I had no say in any of it and I am the one hurting!!! I understand having to face the consequences of my own actions but this… it was out of my hands.
Pray for me as I seek God for the answers…as I let go of the pain and anger, that I let my guard down… I don’t know what is worse having a wall up and just being hurt… or allowing God to do His work which means the wall comes down and I open myself up to the possibility of being hurt and disappointed again… I know I don’t want the wall up…I am just tired of the pain.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Life
I don't even know where to begin!
I never thought it would hurt so much... I never thought it would be so hard. Something that I had no control of, that no one asked me what I wanted, when they say that they did it for us or waited as long as they did but it doesn't feel like they did because it hurts so much, and they go with their lives while I am struggling to catch my breath, and face the reality of it all...
Right now I am riding the waves of my emotions, some are closer than others, this past week I have felt like I have been running on empty, not knowing what I want or what I want to do, I hate feeling like that...I know what I need , I just need to patient and wait, waiting is not something I do well, but wait I must! The urge to flea is great, but I know that God has me where I am for now, running away wont solve anything anyway!
There are many more things I am processing in my heart and head...
But I will leave you with a link to blog that spoke straight to my heart:
http://ccfoley.blogspot.com/
I never thought it would hurt so much... I never thought it would be so hard. Something that I had no control of, that no one asked me what I wanted, when they say that they did it for us or waited as long as they did but it doesn't feel like they did because it hurts so much, and they go with their lives while I am struggling to catch my breath, and face the reality of it all...
Right now I am riding the waves of my emotions, some are closer than others, this past week I have felt like I have been running on empty, not knowing what I want or what I want to do, I hate feeling like that...I know what I need , I just need to patient and wait, waiting is not something I do well, but wait I must! The urge to flea is great, but I know that God has me where I am for now, running away wont solve anything anyway!
There are many more things I am processing in my heart and head...
But I will leave you with a link to blog that spoke straight to my heart:
http://ccfoley.blogspot.com/
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Nothing Else To Do
Since I have nothing else to do....
I have been fighting a cold all week!
Two mornings this week I was at work before the sun!
One more week and I will start my spring break vacations... Yes I get two sorta one week I have school and no work the other I have no school and have work!!!:p
I really want to go to Disneyland again!!!!!!!!
One of my classes is almost done!!!
Ummmm I can't think anymore!!!!
I have been fighting a cold all week!
Two mornings this week I was at work before the sun!
One more week and I will start my spring break vacations... Yes I get two sorta one week I have school and no work the other I have no school and have work!!!:p
I really want to go to Disneyland again!!!!!!!!
One of my classes is almost done!!!
Ummmm I can't think anymore!!!!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Wonderful Weekend
I had a very wonderful weekend!!!! I wish It doesn't have to end!!! I was able to do one of my most favorite things in the whole world.... Play with 3 extremly cute kids who have me wrapped around their cute little fingers!!!!!!
So now its back to work tomorrow...2 more weeks and spring break will be here woohooo!!!!
So now its back to work tomorrow...2 more weeks and spring break will be here woohooo!!!!
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