Restored... at least getting there!!

Joel 2: 25 So I will restore to the years that the swarming locust has eaten... That's God's promise to you and I!

Slowly but surely God is restoring me... healing my heart from all of the damage it has endured these past years...it hasn't been easy, but there are no easy ways to heal... I keep rushing ahead of God and He patiently holds me back, telling me not yet, that has been hardest part, but the blessed part is waiting for Him!

There is so much peace and reassurance that comes with waiting for Him and on Him!!

Resting In Him!!!

Busiest Week of My Life! I Surrived!!!

I can always tell when I am not able to spend time at Jesus' feet, nothing seems right, especially at home, even when doing the work that He has called me to, it's like there is something missing, and there, i am on empty, i have depleted everything He has filled me with and haven't taken the time to replenish!

This week I have been involved with VBS at my church and that taken up all of my time, leaving very little time for anything else, and me very exhausted! But I loved every minute of it!!!!

I know how I am when I go on little sleep and going and going like the little energizer bunny, I can get very snipping and short with my family, so when I know that I am totally exhausted I stay in my room, and don't talk to anyone because I know that if I do talk things just get worse, not this time, now no one is talking to me, why cant my family see that I have a life outside of home and my life does not revolve around them.

Father, Thank you for always waiting for me, when i loose sight of what is really important, You are always there! Forgive me for not taking the time for you this week, I know I have been doing what you have called me to me, but its not the same when I don't ask you to be there! Help me make things better with my family! Your will be done! Amen!

... Past The Point

Of sheer exhaustion!!!

I haven't been able to sleep lately my mind is going all the time... I have come to a place in my life where I have come to terms with the new normal, I'm not saying that is doesn't hurt, I just know that it's the new normal, but there is still going through the hurt of the past, learning to move on and remember the good, its remember the good that hurts, I know that it was there, but its pushing away all the bad...

Father's day was sooo hard, all I could think about during church that day was the bad, all of the ways that my dad let me down...

I am also scared about bringing up all my memories because I don't know how I will feel, I have been doing soo good lately that I don't want to lose that feeling, how do I face the past without falling apart... how do I be okay with falling apart... maybe God wants me to fall apart so that He can pick up the pieces and put me back together they way He desires!!!!
So many changes ahead!!!!

3 more weeks and I will be 21!!!!

Please continue to pray for me!!!